You probably know quite a bit about your partner. What makes people laugh, irritates them, and causes them to blush.
You're probably familiar with their favorite dessert, favorite coffee, and favorite childhood story. And, of course, the list of additional things you know by heart is likely to be rather large. You share a life with them and are likely to know more about them than anybody else.
But there's always something new to discover. When playing "How Well Do You Know Your Spouse?" it's also a good idea to have solid answers to a few more questions on hand. what’s caused them pain, and what’s still on their bucket list. Questions that touch on the past, present, and future, because an awareness of all three is crucial and understanding the answers will help you and your relationship in more ways than one.
To that end, here are eight crucial questions about your relationship that you should be able to answer. What they educate you can help you improve your relationship even further.
1. What made them happy as a kid?
There's a huge temptation to keep doing things, whether it's going to the beach or playing board games. "The past will manifest itself in the present," Fetterman predicts. "We have a proclivity to repeat what is comfortable and familiar to us."
But you also need to answer the question, "What caused the pain?" It could be overnight camp or long vehicle drives, but the answer reveals trigger spots and shame, prompting children to develop survival techniques such as withdrawing, blaming, or trying to satisfy others. That comes forward as well, but it isn't effective in adulthood.
2. What was dinner like for them as a kid?
This answers gives a window into their home life and expectations such as if kids had to be quiet, a television was always on, or it was a time to share. In learning the answer, you’ll also learn about the making and serving of food and whether the gender roles were traditional or progressive. Like with anything, there could be a desire to undo or honor the past and difficulty in doing either. When you understand these factors, you “get out of power struggles.
3. What is their love language?
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, creator of the five love languages, there’s a quintet of ways to express your love for another person: physical touch, words of affection, acts of service, quality time, and gifts. In turn, that’s what makes a person feel loved, too. But everyone is different and not understanding how your partner prefers affection can lead to feeling uncared about. That’s the last thing you want. So pay attention.
4. What are some of their fondest memories?
"What makes them laugh all the time?" Life can be difficult at times. Parenting might feel like a never-ending series of tasks, and stress makes you react rather than think about alternatives. Everything becomes lighter if you can tap into memories and positive sentiments. "You have the ability to change the mood," Bishop explains.
5. In the event of an emergency, who would they call?
Yes, knowing who to contact before you need them is useful, but it also indicates how your partner sees other people in their life. You could believe it's the older sister, but it's actually a cousin who is respectful of privacy and has a cool head. This is where it's easy to make assumptions, and it's a good reminder to avoid it.
6. What brings them into the present moment?
Looking back or forward is unavoidable, but there's an issue with doing so all of the time. Regrets are a result of the past. The future is unpredictable, which causes worry. You can give that nudge if you know that jumping rope or solving a crossword relaxes your partner. "All that is real is the present," Fetterman explains. "It keeps us in check."
7. Do they have anything on their bucket list?
This is about dreams and beliefs, not about worrying about the future. Knowing the answer provides a road map, possibly gift ideas, and a feeling of where to spend your time most effectively, and it's something you can participate in. "If you know someone who can help in any way with one of these, or if you know someone who can help in any way with one of these, or if you know someone.
