Forgiveness (The concept of letting go)

Society often tells us to “forgive and forget,” but is it really that simple? In this revealing episode of "Off Air with Gbemi and Tools," hosts Gbemi and Tools dissected the intricate and often contentious concept of forgiveness, laying bare their fundamentally divergent philosophies on navigating betrayal and conflict. Their candid discussion, interspersed with personal anecdotes and societal observations, painted a vivid picture of how individuals cope with emotional wounds, ranging from minor slights to profound acts of treachery.
The conversation made it abundantly clear that Tools finds forgiveness, particularly "forgive and forget," an immensely challenging endeavor. She explicitly stated, "Forgiving is very hard for me". When someone, especially a close individual, hurts her, she finds it "very, very difficult to get over it". Tools admitted her inability to "master forgive and forget," instead adopting a stance of "forgive and stay the hell away from me". 

Her sensitive nature is so profound that she once woke up "pissed" after her sister vexed her in a dream, holding a grudge upon waking. Tools elaborated on her fear of anger, confessing she doesn't like getting angry because she's "really scared of getting angry and just losing my mind and losing control". She actively tries to remove herself from infuriating situations, even recalling a moment where her heart was beating so intensely that she felt she was "about to kill someone". This fear of potential outbursts leads her to suppress anger, preferring to avoid those who deeply anger her. She found the capacity of footballer Paul Pogba to forgive his brothers, who kidnapped and extorted him, to be astounding. Similarly, she expressed bewilderment at an influencer who reconciled with her boyfriend after he shot her in the head, remarking that "it doesn't make sense" to her. While acknowledging that forgiveness can bring peace, Tools suggested that only a "handful of people on this planet" are truly capable of "forgiving and forgetting".

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In stark contrast, Gbemi champions a direct and immediate approach to conflict resolution, prioritizing upfront confrontation to prevent resentment from festering. She firmly stated, "I don't believe in oh quietly being angry with somebody because what happens to me is when I keep quiet a long time, I just have an outburst one day". Gbemi prides herself on "keeping receipts," boasting an uncanny ability to recall precise details of past conflicts, including "actual days, timestamps, who was there, even down to what the person was wearing". This meticulous memory serves to challenge any denial from the offending party. She recounted instances from her professional life where she directly confronted colleagues who attempted to sabotage her or steal from her. In one case, a colleague tried to get her in trouble with management, leading Gbemi to confront him directly, declaring, "It's on sight bitch". Another colleague who attempted to swindle her out of money was met with a swift demand for repayment, and Gbemi subsequently cut her off, stating, "You have no honor, no integrity, no decorum, no scruples". For Gbemi, these are not minor slights; attempts to steal or get her fired are seen as direct threats to her livelihood, for which there is "no reason" to ever speak to such individuals again. In romantic relationships, 

Gbemi also adopts a swift resolution, switching off quickly if issues persist and preferring direct, non-angry breakups over ghosting, as she finds the latter immature. She expressed frustration with the cultural pressure in Nigeria to "quickly forgive without genuine remorse or consequences for actions," citing a personal incident where she confronted a bus driver who recklessly hit her car. She vividly described her fury and refusal to accept perfunctory apologies, believing that the lack of consequences perpetuates such behaviors. A memorable anecdote involved her getting "revenge" on a prom date who stood her up, five years later, by pranking him on the radio. Gbemi sees no energy lost in refusing to engage with those who have deeply wronged her, choosing instead to "not ever speak to you again".
Despite their distinct methods, both hosts acknowledged that their approaches are a form of self-awareness in dealing with life's challenges. They recognize that there is still "work to do" and that "Jehovah is working on me," indicating an ongoing journey with personal growth in this complex emotional terrain.