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4 Reasons Why Vampires In Movies Are Mostly Or Usually Super Rich

Look, if you’ve been alive and in your prime for 200+ years and you’re still poor, just go run a bath of holy water because there’s no hope for you.(copied) winks 

The kind of opportunities to get rich that arise over two centuries are quite insane. Some of the options include:

1.Just working a long series of regular jobs like the vampires in Twilight, constantly leaving your inheritance to your ‘long lost son’ and moving town whenever people start to notice your lack of ageing. A regular income multiplied by 7 generations is enough for anyone to become rich.

2.Investing. On a long enough timescale, this becomes a no brainer. If you invested $100 in the S&P 500 back in 1950, that would be worth $260,000 today. Just set up a fake company to manage your investments, and maybe occasionally feast on the blood of the CEO of rival companies to manipulate the stock price.

3.Just stealing stuff. You are a vampire remember, depending on the particular lore you are likely super strong, can become invisible, can use super speed, can turn into bats, wolves or mist, can fly, can order wild beasts or minions to do your bidding and so on. A vampire could turn into mist, waltz into the Louvre, turn invisible and steal the Mona Lisa right off the wall leaving the police absolutely nothing to go on. Obviously to avoid publicity in reality you would steal less prominent items, but the principle is the same - you could be the best cat (or bat) burglar in history.

4.Abusing familiars. Vampires often have ‘familiars’ - humans who do their bidding in exchange for a promise of eventually becoming vampires themselves. Instead of having them pick up your dry cleaning and dusting your coffin, have a bunch of them go work 12hr shifts at McDonalds to support you.

Basically, vampires are rich because they would have to be absolute morons to not end up rich. Even the ones whom don’t really care about money are usually incidentally pretty loaded compared to everyone else.

 

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